Intimacy with our partners is an important part of a fulfilling relationship and, often, this includes physical intimacy. When sexual problems crop up, it can cause tension and lead to difficulties, whether you’re in a relationship or not.
Common concerns for men include premature ejaculation, erection problems, loss of libido, anorgasmia (an inability to reach orgasm during sex) and dyspareunia (pain during sex). Here we’ll look into these sexual problems and explore the ways hypnotherapy can help.
Premature ejaculation is the term used when someone ejaculates too quickly during sex. What is deemed ‘too quickly’ will vary from person to person. According to the NHS, a study looking at 500 couples from different countries found the average time taken to ejaculate to be about five and a half minutes. There’s no ‘correct’ duration when it comes to sex however, this is up to the couple to decide.
If you feel around half of your sexual relations result in premature ejaculation and it’s becoming a problem, you might want to seek help from a professional. There are two types of premature ejaculation, primary premature ejaculation (where there has always been this problem) and secondary premature ejaculation (where the problem has recently developed). Knowing which one you have can be helpful when visiting your doctor.
Seeing your GP is a good first step as they will be able to explore what might be causing it. There may be physical causes, psychological causes or a combination of both. Common psychological causes include depression, stress, relationship issues and anxiety around sexual performance.
Depending on what your doctor believes is the cause, there are several treatment options including medication, behavioural therapy, psychological therapy and hypnotherapy
How hypnotherapy can help with premature ejaculation
Hypnotherapy works on a subconscious level, encouraging positive changes through the power of suggestion. As stress and anxiety can often feed into someone experiencing premature ejaculation, hypnotherapy for stress and anxiety can be especially helpful. Other ways hypnotherapy can help include improving self-confidence and self-esteem, and visualisation.
There are a number of techniques the hypnotherapist can use to help the client with PE. For instance, penile hypersensitivity can be assisted greatly with the dial method. This is simply training the client to ‘turn down’ an imagery dial of the penile sensitivity. Visualisation of this type of method is effective as the PE client learns to take back control of their body.
It’s very common for men to occasionally fail to get or keep an erection. alcohol intake, stress and tiredness are typical culprits and shouldn’t be a cause for concern. If you start to have problems more regularly, however, you may want to visit your doctor.
Similarly to premature ejaculation, erection problems (also referred to as erectile dysfunction or impotence) can be caused by physical or psychological reasons. If you only experience erection problems some of the time (for example if you are able to have erections in the morning but not during sex) this may point to a psychological cause.
Mental health conditions like depression and anxiety can lead to erection problems and if this is the case, your doctor may recommend counselling. Sex therapy may be advised, especially if you feel your relationship is being impacted. Hypnotherapy is another option which can help ease stress and anxiety, and improve confidence.
How can hypnotherapy help with erection problems?
Stress and performance anxiety can be key factors when it comes to erection problems and this is where hypnotherapy can step in. A hypnotherapist will be able to effect change on a subconscious level to help you better respond to stress and reduce anxiety.
Hypnotherapy helps to process our negative thoughts and experiences in a natural way, changing them from short-term, emotional memories into narrative memories that no longer provoke a stress response.
Loss of libido
Both men and women can experience a reduced sex drive at times. Often it can be linked to stress, tiredness or even relationship issues. Everyone has different sex drives, but if yours has been unusually low and is causing you problems within your relationship, you should seek support.
Going to your doctor will rule out any physical causes (such as hormone problems or a side-effect from medication). They can also help you identify what may be the cause and recommend therapy to help you and your partner regain a fulfilling sex life. For some, hypnotherapy can be an effective tool.
How hypnotherapy can help with loss of libido
Hypnotherapy can help with reduced sex drive in a number of ways. If stress, anxiety or depression are potential causes, hypnotherapy targeted at these concerns can help. For some people, a lack of confidence and self-worth can affect their libido and again, this is an area where hypnotherapy can support.
Hypnosis can help you regain your self-confidence and get you to appreciate yourself for being you. Therapy can reignite your relationship by helping you get to the root problem of what is causing your stress and give you the tools and techniques to address these.
Also known as orgasmic dysfunction, anorgasmia is when someone is persistently unable to reach orgasm during sex. Both males and females can struggle with this, however, it’s considered to be more common in women.
There can be many reasons why someone struggles to reach orgasm, from physical conditions to psychological and emotional concerns. Seeing your doctor will help to identify what the causes may be. Similar to other sexual problems, there is a variety of treatment options, including hypnotherapy.
How can hypnotherapy help with anorgasmia?
In some cases, anorgasmia is caused by negative associations and expectations of past sexual experiences. Hypnotherapy can help to improve self-esteem and re-pattern the negative associations with sexual relations. Experiencing anorgasmia can lead you to hold beliefs such as ‘I can’t orgasm’ and hypnotherapy aims to change such beliefs which could be holding you back.
As stress and anxiety can also have a role to play in anorgasmia, hypnotherapy for stress and hypnotherapy for anxiety can also be helpful.
Dyspareunia is when you experience pain during sex. While more common in women, men can also experience dyspareunia. In males, the pain will be in the genital or pelvic region during (or after) sex. Some men may also have a burning sensation during or after ejaculation.
Pain during sex can have physical and psychological causes, so be sure to visit your doctor to rule out any medical conditions. Common psychological causes include stress, a history of sexual abuse or trauma, anxiety around sex and depression.
Sex therapy may be recommended and, in some cases, hypnotherapy for pain can be effective.
How hypnotherapy can help with dyspareunia
If you find sex a painful experience, it’s understandable to develop some anxiety around it. Hypnotherapy can help you to reduce this anxiety and increase confidence. Hypnotherapy for pain management looks to change the thought patterns you have related to pain, making a big difference to your perception of pain.
Hypnotherapists can use a few techniques to change your pain level, one of which is the “control panel” this is used when a client is in a hypnotic trance. The client is asked to call to mind a control panel and to locate their pain dial or lever, they are asked to turn it up ever so slightly, increasing their pain level, and then asked to turn it down to the predetermined level – discussed before the trance was induced. Suggestions are then given to ensure the client can access the panel